Our first wedding anniversary.

One year ago today i married the love of my life and my best friend at Lea Methodist Church.

The wedding was perfect from start to finish. I remember the night before the wedding Barry went to stay at his mums, we followed the tradition of not seeing each other before the wedding. As soon as Barry left for his mum’s my nerves starting to kick in. In the morning i was to marry the man who stole my whole heart.

On the morning of the wedding i did my hair and make up and got into my wedding dress. Joan from the church congregation picked me up in her car, when the car door opened Barry’s mum greeted me on the back seat.

Rose walked me down the aisle becasue my family sadly couldn’t make it. She has never looked prouder. As soon as the music played and we walked into the church the full room just stood still and all eyes were on me. I felt amazingly beautiful. My groom had never looked more handsome than at our wedding, he was suited and booted and looked just like James Bond. He was enough to literally makes hearts melt, i know mine was melted for sure.

The service was amazing, we even dedicated poems to each other, i dedicated Elizabeth Barrett Browning s well known poem ”How do I love thee” and Barry dedicated Corinthians 13:4-13 poem to me. Barry also sung ”Hand in hand” which is his own song he wrote about us during the early weeks of our relationship, with him being unique he sang the song accompanied with a guitar app on his iPod touch. A lot of the older people were amazed by the technology these days.

At the end of the service we went into the church’s beautiful hall to be welcomed by a buffet fit for a king.Our church family all pulled together and made the buffet for us as a gift. We were then greeted by lots of cards and presents off everyone. We were spoilt.

In true Baz and Kez style we rode home in Ray’s (our minister) camper van. Ray is the man who married us and he thinks the world of us. He structured a great service around us, even though we only knew him for 6 month at the times, it was like he has known us for years. We are very blessed to have a great minister, and i could not think of a better man to marry us.

Davo who has been a good friend of Barry’s for 12 years was his first choice for best man, Davo is a very good friend of ours who delivered a wonderful best man speech, during the speech he lost his place, that is true Davo style. We were all in hysterics. We have even kept Davo’s speech as a memento.

What can i say? Everything was perfect. I will never forget our big day. 1 year later we are stronger and even more in love than ever. We have conquered all obstacles and have stood by each other. When i committed to those wedding vows, i meant every single word. I love, honour and obey my husband until death do us part.

 

How music affects us.

Whatever you are feeling there is always a song to adapt to your mood.  New research even proves that listening to music can lift (or reinforce) your mood and ultimately improve and lead to a greater quality of life.

The music we listen to can depend upon what mood we are in. But this isn’t always the case, as I tend to be the opposite at times. I am in the happiest place I have ever been in life and yet I listen to death metal which people would deem as  ”angry” music. In reality I am the most calm and relaxed person in the world. When I am feeling low in my mood I listen to music which tends to lift my mood as opposed to making me feel sluggish. Some people may work in the the way that they will listen to music to fit their moods, as they will find it as a way of suppressing their feelings whether they be positive or negative.

Another positive for music is the given of it being a good bond creator. Barry and I bonded over rock bands Billy Talent and Blue October in the early weeks of our relationship. We can’t stick the albums on without it taking us back to the summer of 2009.

When words fail music speaks. Music can also be good for evoking precious memories.

For example music has extreme power for individuals who have Alzheimer’s disease and related dementias. And it can spark a compelling outcome even in the very late stages of the disease. When used appropriately, music can shift mood, manage stress-induced agitation, stimulate positive interactions, facilitate cognitive function, and coordinate motor movements.

Music isn’t just good for elevating our mood. A recent study published in the journal of consumer research found that people who are going through break-ups or having relationship problems prefer music and experiences that reflect their negative mood.

One study showed that the preference for sad music was significantly higher when people experienced an interpersonal loss as opposed to an impersonal loss, such as losing a game.

In another study, people were presented with various frustrating situations and asked to rate angry music versus joyful or relaxing music. Consumers liked angry music more when they were frustrated by interpersonal violations, like being stood up on a date, than by impersonal hassles, like not having Internet access.

“Music is the great uniter. An incredible force. Something that people who differ on everything and anything else can have in common”.

– Sarah Dessen.

What music are you in the mood for listening to?

Actions speak louder than words.

Carefully watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Manage and watch your words, for they will become your actions. Consider and judge your actions, for they have become your habits. Acknowledge and watch your habits, for they shall become your values. Understand and embrace your values, for they become your destiny.

– Mahatina Ghandi

People say things and make promises that they have no intention of keeping on a daily basis. I have always been fond of saying ”don’t talk about it, be about it”.

For example you can tell your partners, family and friends you love them a million times, but until your behaviour coincides with that, they won’t believe you, certain feelings cannot be expressed in mere words, specific actions are needed to speak on their behalf. Anyone can tell someone that they love them, but sadly they won’t feel the intensity of these emotions unless they are acted upon. Words can be cheap and have the ability to either make or break someone’s life.

Some people’s promises are like pie crust, easily broken. Promises mean nothing without proof. People lie all the time to please others and to make themselves look more impressive in front of their friends, we have all exaggerated the truth at some point in our lives, let’s be honest now. It’s one thing exaggerating the truth, but to constantly lie and make promises you can’t keep is a whole different story.

We apologise for our mistakes over and over again, but if our actions do not change, the words become meaningless. You need to be careful of what you say to someone who loves you, if you are not able to support what you say with actions. It is much more effective to simply act the way you want to instead of giving someone false hope and stringing them along. Do not lead this person to believe you are actually remorseful if you are just going to go back to your harmful behavior.

Belief means nothing without actions
– Randa Abdel-Fattah

Words

Well worth checking out my husband’s blog on words! he has hit the nail right on the head!

Baz Leeming

Words.

The dictionary describe them as the following :

a. speech or talk: to express one’s emotion in words; Words mean little when action is called for.
b. the text or lyrics of a song as distinguished from the music.
c. contentious or angry speech; a quarrel: “We had words and she walked out on me”.

Words are the simplest form of communication.
At best they can provide guidance and healing in times of need and show others what they mean to you.
At worst, they can cut like a knife straight to your heart.

As children, when we are bullied, we are taught the following rhyme :

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But names will never hurt me.

But sadly, words and names do hurt.

In The Bible, you’ll find the following said in Proverbs 12:18 :

“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts…

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Mental health discrimination.

If you follow my blog you will know that I suffer from my own personal battles with ill mental health. I feel strongly about mental health and the unbreakable stigma that surrounds it.

The trouble is not enough people understand mental health and the way it puts a strain on those daily sufferers. I think one of the main reasons that causes such lack of understanding is the tiny amount of coverage in the media, and even then they blow it out of proportion, for example they portray O.C.D sufferers as always cleaning and Tourette’s syndrome sufferers as swearing a lot. People who are well educated with O.C.D and Tourette’s syndrome know that either assumptions are not the case, however O.C.D does entail people to clean excessively, but it does happen and falls into the contamination type of O.C.D, I have slight traits of contamination O.C.D and believe me, it does make you want to clean more than your average person, it’s the fear of dust and dirt making you feel like it’s life threatening whereas in reality it’s harmless.

Tourette’s syndrome is another classic example of a neurological disorder that is sorely misunderstood. Coprolalia is a form of Tourette’s that is the most severe yet rarest form. People assume that all Tourette sufferers must swear a lot,  truth is only 10% actually suffer with Coprolalia. My husband has the mildest form of Tourettes’s, but does that mean his should be dismissed becasue his tics and vocal noises can be suppressed to a certain extent. I think not, all forms should be treated with the same respect and understanding. Tourette sufferers just like anybody else with a form of a mental health disorder should be treated with respect becasue lack of that will only lead to more issues such as anxiety and depression in the future. All it takes it a little support and understanding to help those in need through tough times.

Unfortunately for us Mental health sufferers we will always be stereotyped with names such as ”nutter”, ”whack job”, ”psycho” and what other derogatory terms you can think of.  Some may be out of ignorance of not wanting to know, i mean as long as it’s not happening to you then what does it matter? some people don’t know because there is not enough coverage.

Asda and Tesco don’t really help matters with their latest incident with the whole selling Halloween costumes labelled ”mental patient” and ”psycho ward” I mean how insensitive? I thought that was ridiculous and knew exactly why we were getting labelled by every Tom, Dick and Harry. People think it’s funny and don’t think there was anything wrong with that, well I do. Asda gave a large sum of money to compensate for their irrational behavior. That’s all fine and dandy but the damage is done.

The only way out of this discrimination is for more people to talk about it, share your stories, get your friends and families to share their stories. Lets abolish the mental health stigma together so we are one step closer to living a free, non judgmental life. Are you in?

 

My personal battle with low self – esteem.

The picture above is a recent picture of me. I know what you are probably thinking, ”what has she got to be self conscious about? she is beautiful”. That was said to me once.

Well i want to tell you all about my battle with low self esteem. I want to hopefully inspire others to speak up about their mental health battles.

Anyone can suffer from low self esteem, some of us hide it and some of us are open about it. People may say that i am extremely brave for being so open, I am only doing my bit to help others speak about their personal ordeals.

There may be a number of reasons why people suffer from low self esteem and image problems. Let’s start with the media, the media put a lot of unnecessary pressure on us women to be so slim that it is unhealthy looking and it’s not attractive. Being bullied for the way you look may be another devastating reason which may make someone constantly under pressure to change their image. Getting married? that may be another cause to make a woman under so much pressure to fit into her dress. Little does ”she” know that it could be the beginning of a long journey down the road to eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia.

I became that self obsessed with the way I look I would end up going to the gym four times a day and I made myself very ill. Eventually I was afraid to eat anything in case I was to put any weight on. It terrified the life out of me and even got to the point were I was making myself sick after every meal and snack. One time I strained my throat and neck through forcing myself to vomit. My eating disorder was linked to a number of things including my constant battle with 3 different types of O.C.D. The reason it was linked to my O.C.D is obvious, the clue is in the title ”obsessive” and that is exactly what I would be like with my constant calorie counting and my image. I was always looking in magazines comparing myself to other celebrities.

Now i can happily say I now have my O.C.D under control to a certain extent and my issues of low self esteem are few and far in between. I am not going to lie I do have my moments now and again, but it’s all about having the right balance and not letting it control your life. We only get one body and I dread to think all the abuse I was putting it under. These days I am very cautious and look after myself.

Along my hectic journey I learned a valuable lesson in the fact that it wasn’t only me that my battles were affecting, it was also putting strain on my husband and family, seeing them hurting becasue I was hurting was a real eye opener for me. I could not put them through it anymore.

I can now say bye bye to constantly worrying about my image. I am proud of the way I look and feel and I wouldn’t change that for the world. I have truly accepted me and I like me.

 

 

Be who you are …

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
– Dr. Seuss

One Direction heading for all directions!

 

One Direction are the biggest boy band in the world at the moment! For their age they have done really well for themselves, they have achieved more in their 3 years of being a band than most bands achieve in a decade or more.

One Direction are made up of Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan and Louis Tomlinson. The band first made there debut as single competitors on televised singing contest The X Factor, on their own they had what it takes to be successful singers. Simon Cowell however thought differently. During The X Factor, Simon thought they would all have chemistry together so he decided to put the 5 youngsters together to form a band that just 3 short years later would go on and become one of the most successful bands in the world.

So what is it about the band that makes them stand out from the crowd? there looks and ability to look good in anything they wear? or their talent? my guess is both. One Direction fans consist of  mostly females, but that doesn’t mean men can’t enjoy there infectious music, and by men i mean straight or otherwise. So becasue they are pleasant on the eye that always helps, especially when you are a teenager and you tend to go through crushes alot!

Now it bring me to tell you about my love for the band. I am a 24 year old female who is happily married and grew out crushes a long time ago. I love their music, i find it catchy and i think they all have great voices. I like there sense of style and the fact that they are very humble to talk to in person.

What annoys me is people slating One Direction saying things such as ”pretty boys” and ”gayboys” and generally just taking the mick out of them. All i am going to finish off with saying is that they must be doing something right, well A LOT right in order to be as popular as they  are now. I mean number 1 in 37 different countries, and if that’s not enough they have sold out on 2 world tours? what were you saying again?

Remembering Norman Wisdom!

Sir Norman Joseph Wisdom was an English actor, comedian and singer – songwriter. He was born on Febuary 4th 1915 and sadly passed away on October 4th 2010, his trademark cloth cap was placed upon his coffin during his funeral. Norman was known for his loveable onscreen character Norman Pitkin. With his floppy hair, tight suits, beautiful singing voice and charming smile it was easy to see why he was a hit. Norman Pitkin never got it right, he was a clumsy man, but his heart was planted firmly in the right place. He had an eye for the ladies but was far too shy to do anything about it.

Norman was constantly gracing the screen of my television as a child. Whilst other kids were watching cartoons i was watching the likes of Norman Wisdom, Laurel and Hardy and lots of the old movies which starred the likes of Marilyn Monroe, Gene Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke. I remember when i first got acquainted with Norman and i have been a fan ever since. He is just one of those warm characters you just cannot help to like!

As a child my younger sister Samantha and i had a Norman Wisdom VHS collection which was bought for us by our mam and dad. The two videos that truly stood out to me and i always remember are ”follow a star” and ”one good turn” the reason being is because they were our favourites out of the whole bunch and i remember the cover for ”follow a star” was blue and the cover for ”one good turn” was orange.

It was Norman Wisdom who inspired me to do performing arts, i love to play comedy roles. At college i was always the one who would be given the comedic roles. Even in my family i am the funny one, i would stand in the centre of the room and treat it as my stage, i would be asked by members of my family to do certain impressions of actors/actresses, the room would be filled with laughter. I felt like the star of the show, my husband will tell you that i love being centre of attention just like Norman did.

Norman is one of those characters that everyone has heard of at one point or another in life. Even if you are not a massive fan you soon will be! you can not resist his charm whatever your gender! according to his publicist, Phil Day : “I have never met anyone in the profession that didn’t like him, right up to royalty.”

My comedy is for children is for children from 3 to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven’t got that, it’s very sad.

– Norman Wisdom

Norman will always be remember no matter how many years pass. R.I,P Norman. thank you for all you have done for the show business industry.

Pets have feelings too.

Some people, not all, underestimate their pets and take them for granted. Nowadays you hear more stories of people abusing pets as opposed to looking after them properly. It’s sad when you hear horror stories of animals being treated badly or even killed.

I for one love animals and it pains me to see any animal getting hurt. I was brought up with a number of dogs. Our very first family pet was a beautiful Jack Russell called Cindy, I loved her to bits but unfortunately we had to give her up to another home due to her being hit by a car, her leg was broken and my mam found it to much to look after her. I was heartbroken when she left. It shows that pets can have huge impacts on people’s lives, some may even say it’s too much to let a child get emotionally attached to a pet, i don’t I think so in fact i think it’s healthy and it’s also a great way to teach the child about death in a positive way. It’s all about teaching the children whilst they are young, and having a pet could be beneficial for them.

There is a story going around in Preston that children are being handed £10 to kidnap kittens which will then be used at dog bait, and sadly all this is happening right under my nose and there is nothing i can do about it, i wish I could. I hate any animals being abused, they have feeling too and have just the same right to live a happy and healthy life on our wonderful but sometimes cruel planet called Earth.

I am now going to use my mother in law Rose as a classic example of how a pet should be looked after.

Rose is a wonderful, kind and caring woman who i love to bits. She not only treats everyone around her with love and respect but she also treats her lovely cat Flix with lots of love, care and respect. I have grown very fond of Flix over the years. Flix was welcomed with open arms into the Leeming family on the second day of my first visit to stay with Barry and his mum. She has been part of the family ever since and she lives under Rose’s care.

The way Rose treats Flix is wonderful, she treats Flix like a true friend and why not? just becasue she is a cat does not mean she shouldn’t be treated like a human. She talks to her and Flix actually replies in her cute cat manner. Rose buys her treats and is always stroking her. Rose keeps Flix on a cat lead if she is in the garden doing a spot of gardening, it’s to keep her safe. Flix is free to roam all around the garden. I think it’s endearing that Rose is taking all precautions to keep her cat safe.

Now moving onto my husband, he adores Flix. When we go down to visit his mum he always greets her and gives her a stroke. Barry is a kind and caring man so you can imagine how he would treat a pet right? yes with care. He gets choked up at  Judith Kerr’s wonderful children’s book collection about Mog, especially goodbye Mog in which Mog passes away and the book tells a wonderful story in text and pictures of how Mog’s family are impacted after her passing. Barry has told me many times he thinks the world of the family cat Flix.

See how one cat has made an impact on 3 lives?

Well I think I have just made my point clear. You wouldn’t torture a human being, so why do it to a harmless animal? Pets are one of God’s wonderful creations.